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 I
woke up this morning missing her...
But let's take this back a little further. I started
off the week bad, and I mean BAD. At work I pride myself
on being the best and for the first time for the weekend
work stint in the year and 3 months I've worked there,
I ended up LAST PLACE! It started on Saturday where
I got more returns than I ever have in the time I've
worked there. I was completely aggravated and I just
seemed to snap at every other customer that came my
way. That downed my spirits but it didn't break me.
On Sunday I figured I needed to bounce back strong.
But just when I had made a big sale, another big sale
came back of the same value from earlier in the month.
Plus $99.50. Minus $99.00. Plus $55.00. Minus $62.00.
I just wanted to week to end. I cried out of frustration...
I figured my days couldn't have gotten any worse.
I was going to start a new week producing Leena in an
adventure all new to me. Everyone thinks I know what
I'm doing most of the time, when in all honesty, I'm
lost more than half the time. Everything is new to me
and whatever I need to know I take the time to learn
it.
"To be successful,
one must always portray an image of success" American
Beauty
 So
I woke up at 4:30 AM Monday morning to my journey up
north. Why did I do this? Something in my heart told
me to. I was making good time in my roadtrip when on
the 5 freeway until I was pulled over and given a speeding
ticket, my first ever. At this point I had almost completely
lost it. It was a continuous string of bad days. But
as I drove for the next 3 hours I could only think about
seeing Leena again. And that's all I needed to cheer
me up.
Now my life is split into "worlds". Each world holds
a different part and piece of me. I keep all worlds
separate from each other and I seldom let people enter
more than one of my worlds. Leena and I have our own
world together but with this trip she was about to enter
more of my different worlds. And in a way I was afraid...
I am hesitant to let people into my life knowing they're
the ones that can easily tear me apart. I haven't let
anyone in so long get close to me.
I picked her up, she said her good-byes. I took her
to say good-bye to her mom. We stopped by to get something
to eat and to continue a tradition we had started the
last time I saw her. So we went to Walmart and picked
up some disposable cameras just for me and her. I told
her that every time we saw each other we'd have to do
this. Always and forever...
This was Leena's first real time so far away from
home. She had been born and raised in Sacramento her
whole life. So I'm very grateful that I was able to
give her this experience and that I was able to walk
beside her...
The drive was long but Leena managed to stay awake
with me for the whole trip. Of course I was driving
a lot more cautiously to avoid getting any more driving
discrepancies, so the drive took longer than expected.
I prepped her to the world she was about to enter, the
project and team I had put together, everything good
and bad that might come her way. I'm very professional
when it comes to TekRebel Designs. Perhaps a bit unorthodox,
but my success defines my passions in life to strive
for something better than I deserve.
"I need no
weapon in a battle of wits... my words alone could destroy
you"
 I
did my best to psych her up. We reached Los Angeles
at around 7. She experienced first hand LA traffic on
6 lanes. We picked up a pizza and I took her to mi casa.
But before we went in I checked the mail to find to
my surprise the letter she had sent me more than a week
ago in my mailbox. She could have just had very well
hand delivered it to me
 .
I read the letter later on that night. She actually
wrote me 10 pages! I showed her everything she needed
to know about where I worked and what I did. At night
we looked through my 4 photo albums. And so she entered
another part of my life... my childhood...
As you probably have already noticed there are pix
randomly inserted throughout this update. All these
pix were taken from my TekCam 2 on my phone. TekCam
refers to my webcam.
I woke up early the next morning. Last night it had
rained and that morning was looking as bleak as the
day before. I had set up a photoshoot for today so clouds
and rain was not a good thing. It hadn't rained in Southern
California in months and the day I scheduled something
where I needed to be out just so coincidently happen
to fall on the day it decides to rain. I sat there for
half an hour just thinking. If this was an act of God,
I wasn't about to let that stop me. There could have
been a hundred bad days in a row and I still would have
kept on trying, I know I would have. And I told him
that...
"You can't
break me, I won't let you..."
I went back to sleep and I woke up to a miraculous
bright sunny day. I believe these first few days of
the week was a test of wills for me. From that point
on everything began to a brighter day. We started the
photoshoot at English Springs Park. The landscape holds
a lake and waterfall beautifully pieced together. I
consider myself one of the last few On-Site Photographers
left. After the park we took a break at Denny's. We
then headed to the second location at Calpoly's new
Japanese garden behind the CLA building. Let me just
say that throughout the whole day it was hot. Afterwards
we went back home for a quick refreshing. And then we
headed out to the third location:
The Getty Museum.
 The
Getty is by far one of the greatest architectural achievements
in history. I wanted to take her there to do the photoshoot
but also share another part of my world with her. It's
the one place I go to get away from everything. While
I'm there I'm free, I don't have to worry or think about
the troubles in life. It's one of my secret places.
She shared with me, I wanted to share with her.
At night we had a little chef cook-off. We stopped
by the nearby Stater Bros, shopped like we we're some
kind of married couple, took it home, and made everything
from scratch. She decided to make some stuffed shells
marinated with some maranara sauces and spices. And
I decided to make some fried rice with shrimp. I must
admit that she did conjure and prepare the better dish.
In fact even my roommate Shawn was impressed. We then
played some pool. Today were just friendly games but
tomorrow was the day our best of 7 tournament would
begin. Winner take all including bragging rights and
we also played for favors.
That night we stayed up talking till the wee hours
of the morning. Just about anything and everything.
It was one of the late night talks that we've had so
many times before, but this time, she was only a couple
feet away. It felt good...
The next morning we had met with one of my good friends
Raul, who's a former DJ. Me and him prepared tracks
for a couple hours. Afterwards we went to a nearby Tapioca
Express and then headed off to Walmart to develop the
photo shoot we had taken yesterday. It was going to
take an hour to develop so rather than go back home
we just decided to find something to do at Walmart.
We sat down next to the magazine rack and we read
Chicken Soup for the Soul together. It was a new
experience for me. I've never done that before...
 We
then headed back and met with my other friend Brian
to write some lyrics. Brian's actually worked with me
before and still does on my TekGamer site. Later that
night we watched a couple movies, but I was tired, and
we had a big day early tomorrow. We played our pool
match which ended at a 2-2 tie. There were some controversial
games
,
but it was all in good fun. We would finish up later.
Leena and Charles Day
This was the only day where we didn't have to worry
about production. It was just a day for me and her.
And although I won't share everything that happened
this day, I will share parts of it worth sharing. The
night before she had told me all the things that she
had never done and have happen. So I woke up early that
morning to take a quick stop at the nearby store to
buy some pancake mix and a single white rose. I owed
her one from Valentine's Day that had dried up in my
room. I cooked a small breakfast for her before she
awoke.
"There's
a difference between knowing the path, and walking the
path" Matrix
I took her to my part-time job at Fry's to pick up
my paycheck that I've been doing every week on Thursday
since I started. I showed her where I worked and my
work routines. Had a small lunch in the Cafe and then
we were off...
... to the happiest place on earth...
 This
was her first time there. I would like to thank Ben
for hooking us up with tickets to both California Adventure
and Disneyland theme park with free parking
.
This was another one of my hidden worlds. It's a part
of my life that I will always enjoy no matter how old
and grey I get. We had to follow my tradition first.
Upon entering we took our pictures in front of the train
station. We then headed out to Pirates of the Caribbean.
Ever since I could remember going I've always gone on
this ride first. It's one of my most favorite rides
ever. Afterwards it was off to Haunted Mansion which
is always the next ride I go on. It was actually funny
seeing Leena getting scared. We then headed out to Splash
Mountain but as we were waiting in line, the ride had
shut down
 .
While we were waiting to go to Thunder Mountain I
tried to keep us cool from the hot sun by covering Leena
with the Disneyland map. I thought it was kinda funny.
We then headed out to see the main street parade. I've
seen and done it all at Disneyland many times before,
but it just never stops to amaze me. I guess I'll always
be a kid at heart...
I wanted to go into Space Mountain but unfortunately
the ride was close so instead we went to the Honey I
Shrunk the Kids show. It was my first time ever in that
new show. In fact that was my first 3-D show ever. Afterwards
we decided to go over to California Adventure. This
was my first time in that part of the park as well.
We first started off at the Ferris Wheel. Man was I
sick and freaked out
.
We then hit up one more ride, the Orange Spinner. After
that we decided to go back to the other park and ride
the train.
We rode the train for about an hour. She fell asleep
in my arms as we rode around the park twice. We then
ate next to the Pirates Diner. Leena tried to trick
me by giving me Tabasco sauce instead of Ketchup
.
The Fantasia Light and Magic show was about to start
so we grabbed a spot and watched this magical show.
I won't ever forget those moments anytime soon. I was
happy...
 We
then were heading back to the parking lot when another
fireworks show started over the Disneyland Castle. We
stayed to watch the rest of it. Leena's foot was actually
ran over by two wheelchairs. I was really worried about
her. She had been wearing open toed slippers when it
happened and she was even limping badly. So I gave her
my shoes and I walked barefoot the rest of the way to
the car. My socks were completely dirty and black
.
So we headed home.
That day... that night... I didn't want to end. If
that day was the only day I could be truly happy with
her, I would have froze our whole day together and kept
it forever. But I knew there were certain things that
couldn't happen between me and her, and me and her was
one of them. If anyone only knew. That night I stared
out the window. I looked at my neighborhood, where I
lived, what I had, where I was, and I knew most would
love to be in my shoes living my life. That night I
realized that I would have given it all up in an instance
for her. She's one of the few good things I've come
to on my walks through life and I treasure everything
about her and all that she's done for me. It all started
with a smile... and with that... it brought me my happiness...
true happiness...
Me and Leena's world... always and forever...
The next day was Leena's audition with Mike and Entropy
Entertainment. There were so many things brought into
perspective that day. Not only for her, but for me.
And although things might have not gone according to
plan, I don't regret taking that chance with her. She
sang her heart out and I am more than proud and honored
to have journeyed alongside her. She walked away...
knowing she could have done it... Thanx Mike for everything.
I got your back whenever you need me bro.
 We
talked. And I took her downstairs where we had our first
slow dance together. I don't know why I decided to do
that, I just did. Then we started playing pool. After
tying it up 3-3 due to some easily make-able missed
shots, I got the feeling that she was not playing at
her best. Could she have easily beaten me? I wouldn't
know. I'd like to think of Leena as my equal, and I
know she could have made that last shot in that last
game. But in the end I won 4-3. I tip my hat to her.
Winner also had to do one dare or favor, but we'll just
leave that between me and Leena
.
Afterwards I took her to her best friend Nina who was
going to take her home.
I don't plan on updating for a while. This experience
was worth more than a thousand successful journeys alone.
I wanted to let her know that I will always and forever
be there for her whenever she needs me in more than
just words, but in a promise I will forever hold and
keep true. 50 years from now when we're all old and
wrinkly, I want her to remember that there was at least
one person she could count on, that believed in her,
that loved her for all that she was and what she brought
into this world...
Even though she's 400 miles away, she'll always have
a piece of my heart...
... Smile for me Leena...
TEKMAIL
My Ever So Dearest
Mr. TekRebel,
I was just surfing the net and minding my own business,
until I came across your site and all I can say is WOW...how
do you do it? You're amazing. and that's all there is
to it. I was reading your daily journal entries and
the way you express your feelings can really get through
to a person and that's a really good social skill that
you've got right there. you see, I want to become one
of the most successful woman in the entertainment industry
and I've just recently started on learning about things
of music and management/etc last year in November and
I when I saw your site and I saw the plan about your
production with Leena, you'll be a great manager, I
know it. you don't know how much you and Leena really
inspire me to push forward in making a music career,
especially when there aren't that many Asians (I'm Cambodian)
in the music biz, I kind of think that without you 2,
I wouldn't be so eager to go out and find myself a music
manager now haha. :D I'm with ya'll all the way on this
one. you've got my support!
I know that this might be a little bit of annoyance
of me to do, but I was wondering if you can help me
out, I'm trying to find a music manager for myself but
I don't know where to start at all, if you can help
me I'll love you forever and if you cant I'll still
love you forever hehe well I hope that you'll reply
back to me, I want to be able to keep in touch with
you :) bye!
Charmed By,
Rosie
PHONECAM
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